Dear Dart,
I am writing to tell all and defend Tiger Woods. I have known the superstar hole-in-oner for a number of years (lucky 7) and I have never seen or known him to do anything that I would see as vulgar, sleazy, X-rated, base, blue, boorish, cheap, coarse, common, contemptible, crude, dirty, disgusting, dishonorable, filthy, fractious, gross, hard-core, ignoble, impolite, improper, indecent, indecorous, indelicate, inferior, low, malicious, nasty, naughty, obscene, odious, off-color, profane, raw, repulsive, ribald, risqué, rough, scatological, slippery, smutty, sneaking, soft-core, sordid, suggestive, tasteless, tawdry, uncouth, unmannerly, unrefined, unworthy, or villainous.
As his caddy I have washed his balls and often touched his putter and he always thanked me for that. As well as tipping, sometimes more than A BUCK. Being the true gentleman he is, it was his way of saying “job well done”.
If Tiger has any ghosts in his many visited Motel 6 closets, they are most likely sheets left over from a previous KKK meeting,
Sorry Dart, I have no question.
Phil Ofchit
Dear, dear P.O.,
For that, I have no answer.
You worthless, abject, barren, base, bogus, cheap, contemptible, counterproductive, despicable, empty, futile, good-for-nothing, ignoble, inconsequential, ineffective, ineffectual, inferior, insignificant, inutile, meaningless, mediocre, miserable, no-account, no-good, nothing, paltry, pointless, poor, profitless, sterile, trashy, trifling, trivial, unavailing, unessential, unimportant, unproductive, unprofitable, unusable, useless, valueless, waste, and wretched piece of suck up.
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