We know one of the best cures for insomnia is sitting in front of the tube and watching the Olympics. With these games just around the corner, and behind some mountains, THE DARTBOARD proposes some new (more exciting) ways to go for the GOLD:
CROSS COUNTRY CHEATING
Award is given to the competitor who has the most out-of-marriage liaisons. Previous winner: Tiger Woods.
DATE LIFTING
Competitors lift their dates over their head. Biggest date held high wins.
BITCH VOLLEYBALL
Timed for the right time on the month, bring on the meanies!
HAIR CURLING
Armed with only a hair curler, competitors turn straight hair into a stylish bush.
BREAST STROKE (foreplay)
Need we say more about coming in first?
MARRYATHON
Competitors chase spouses-to-be 26 miles to the nearest church.
MOULIN LUGE
Man & woman in sexy positions riding on a sled, to a background of sexy French music, while speeding down a hill.
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NUDE FIGURE SKATING
Singles, couples, who cares? Easily will be the most popular new sport. Battle of the laids?
WOMEN’S HOCKEY (SHIRTS VS SKINS)
Isn’t it obvious? Could bring a new meaning to “body check”, "slap shot" and "face off"!
SPEED DATING
In a time limit, the most dates gathered wins gold. Extra points for phone numbers accumulated. Points deducted for slaps in the face.
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