PROOF! You have been abducted and living with ALEINS.

 No cable TV. Just antennas.

 Tanning salons make you dark green or blue.

 Away games for their sport teams are more than a million miles away.

 Men have no desire to watch porn.

 No soft two-ply toilet paper.

 The planet had no (not one) ((nada)) Starbucks


 Children’s names are all numbers. Pre-schoolers are fractions.

 Reality TV and MTV are the only thing on television.

 The planet has no Elvis or Michael Jackson impersonators.

 They can figure out the Da Vinci Code in less than a minute.

 They laugh till they pee watching Will Farrell movies.

 It costs over $10,000 in change to phone home. Taking collect calls is not allowed and illegal.

 Everybody speaks Spanish.


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