In this age of tot-moms that kill, one can never be too careful. From our “I fought my ma, and my ma won” dept., here are the things that Nancy Grace never told you:
1) She lends you her electric hair dryer while you’re taking a bath.
2) Her new hobby is sharpening her machete knife.
3) She takes notes marked DON’T while watching CSI and Cold Case.
4) She tells you a shark she put in your swimming pool that is playful.
5) She puts your favorite blanket and duct tape in the trunk of her car.
6) She puts razor blades in your apple to prepare you for Halloween.
7) Challenges you to see how long you can hold your breath underwater while holding your head in the toilet.
8) She insists that a handful of sleeping pills are the same as one vitamin.
9) She cooks you a pizza with her special freshly just-picked mushrooms
10) She plays with you hangman with real rope.
11) For summer vacation she sends you to a concentration camp.
12) She asks you to look under the car while she checks the reverse.
13) She buys you a pet cobra.
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