REAL NEWS: she has killer boobs

British woman Claire Smedley almost killed her lover during sex - with her enormous breasts.

Mum-of-three Smedley, 27, who has 40LL breasts, panicked when she lifted them up while having sex and found that her lover Steven had stopped breathing.

In an exclusive video interview with the News of the World, she revealed how Steven usually loved being smothered by her breasts.

"This time, he started flailing around a bit but I assumed it was because he was so excited, so I kept going. A few minutes later I noticed he'd stopped moving," she said.

By then, sales assistant Steven, also 27, was still and appeared to not be breathing.

"I was panicking and just about to call 999 when, thankfully, he started to come round.

"He was really woozy, like he was in a trance. Then he sort of coughed and sat up. I was so relieved," the News of the World quoted Smedley as saying.

"I did think my time had come. I tried to slap her on her arm to get her to stop and get off me, but I think she misread the signals.

"The next thing I knew, she was sitting over me asking if I was all right. I must have blacked out. It was pretty hair-raising," Steven said.

Smedley said: "After that he went off sex."
- ANI

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Nicole making SENSE?

(from the Huffington Post) Newly brunette mother-of-two Nicole Richie covers the March issue of British Marie Claire and inside she tries to lay rest to the rumors that she ever had an eating disorder.

"I felt it was a little unfair to say someone has an eating disorder when they don't. It's extremely insulting and irresponsible," she told the magazine.

"An eating disorder is serious and it's a disease. I don't think you can lightly say someone has a disease unless they are openly telling you that they do."

Nicole started looking frighteningly thin towards the end of 2004 while filming 'The Simple Life.' In 2006 she sought medical treatment at her father's urging to stop her frame from shrinking any further.



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Oh my, such an outrage! Thank you moral guardians for protecting us from this!

CANADA HISTORY MAGAZINE DROPS DOUBLE-ENTENDRE NAME


WINNIPEG, Manitoba (Reuters) - Canada's second-oldest magazine, The Beaver, is changing its name because its unintended sexual connotation has caused the history journal to become snagged in Internet filters and has turned off potential readers.

The Beaver was founded in 1920 as a publication of the Hudson's Bay Company, then a fur trader and now a department store chain. It has long since become a broader magazine about Canadian history and will change its name to Canada's History with its April issue, editor-in-chief Mark Reid said on Tuesday.

When The Beaver started publication, the name evoked only Canada's thriving fur industry. Ninety years later, the fur trade has diminished and the magazine's name has become slang for female genitals.

Readers complained that Internet filters were blocking emails and newsletters from The Beaver, Reid said. The society also had concerns about attracting readers.

"Market research showed us that younger Canadians and women were very very unlikely to ever buy a magazine called The Beaver no matter what it's about," said Reid, adding he has mixed feelings about the name change. "For whatever reasons, they are turned off by the name.

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THE DARTBOARD found a few of the other names that the magazine also decided to reject.

The pussy, the twat, the vag, the snatch, the pink taco, the clit, the cooter, the box, the muff, the fur-burger, the poon, the va-jay-jay, the cooch, the hole, the gash, poontang, and of course -- the slit.


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Does it come with a rubber?

From across the really, really, big pond, our favorite English newspaper THE SUN reports:

“TODAY we lift the lid on the latest internet craze - sex education illustrated with PENS.
It sees a range of stationery used to depict different types of couples and even saucy acts.
In the snaps, blue and red Biros represent men and women respectively.
Well-endowed fellas are chunky markers while transvestites are a mix of both colours.
And for those lacking a bit of lead in their pencil there's even a "Viagra" sharpener.
The cheeky pen portraits - which have been sweeping the web in an email - walk a fine line between being too rude and a write laugh.”


Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/2824439/Sex-education-explained-with-pens.html?#EMC-Bltn#ixzz0djeAOeud

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I READ THE NEWS AGAIN TODAY (oh boy!)

USA TODAY reports that BURGER KING plans to pair beer and burgers in a new fast food eatery appropriately called the Whopper Bar in South Beach, Florida.

The restaurant will offer a range of burgers, toppings and beer, with a 'Whopper Combo' costing $7.99, or about $2 more than regular.

Whopper Bars will only open in South Beach, New York, Los Angeles and Las Vegas.

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MEANWHILE... a "so-there!" rumor (idea?) comes from across the street at the home of Ronald and the BIG MAC.




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See me, feel me, x-SQUEEZE ME -- puh-lease ladies don't try to do the CROTCH WALK!

NOT A MICHAEL JACKSON STAGE MOVE, “Crotch walking" explains SHOPLIFTING STATISTICS AND TACTICS (a crime prevention website) as a theft tactic that is cleverly performed by women.

They simply wear a full dress or skirt into the store, place an item between their thighs, and walk out of the business like it is any other normal shopping day.

Women with stronger thighs have been known to shoplift larger ticket items like electronics.”

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There is an obvious Oprah Winfrey joke here -- but being afraid of the star of the cover of O MAGAZINE and her lawyers -- THE DARTBOARD will let your own imagination tell it.

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“HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!” -- CALCIUM-RICH ASTRONAUT PEE CLOGS WATER RECYCLING SYSTEM

WHAT A PISS-OFF!

(NEWSER) – The unexpectedly calcium-rich urine of International Space Station astronauts is causing major headaches for NASA engineers. The calcium is clogging the station's $250 million water recycling system and engineers are trying to come up with a fix in time for the Endeavour shuttle's trip to the International Space Station next month, Reuters reports.
The system worked fine when it was tested on earth, say engineers. They believe astronaut's urine may be so high in calcium because of the loss in bone density suffered by people living in zero gravity. "We've learned a lot more about urine than we ever needed or wanted to know," said station flight director David Korth.

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DART THOUGHT that the reason astronauts went for spacewalks was to go.

And

 If they remembered to put the seat down after, would they still have this embarassing situation?

 Do the women astronauts still pee sitting down?

 Who forgot to flush?

 Do the women have separate facilities?

 Do you think you could get out of all this gear in time without leaking?

 Another example that (even in space) drinking and driving don’t mix.

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"VIVA" and "Hello Dolly!"

LAS VEGAS - A New Jersey company says it has developed "the world's first sex robot," a life-size rubber doll that's designed to engage the owner with conversation rather than lifelike movement.

At a demonstration at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas on Saturday, the dark-haired, negligee-clad robot said "I love holding hands with you" when it sensed that its creator touched its hand.

Owners can choose Roxxxy’s race, hair color, and breast size all to their individual liking.

Owners will also be able to select different personalities for Roxxxy, from "Wild Wendy" to "Frigid Farrah," the makers say.

They're charging somewhere from $7,000 to $9,000 for the robot, including the laptop, and they expect to start shipping in a few months.

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DART ponders:

• Will Farrah be free of computer viruses?

• Can the doll be bought on a layaway plan?

• Will this doll be anatomically correct or just have nuts?

• For $9,000 who would bother with and buy “Frigid Farrah”?

• Will the doll respond to commands like “Shut-up!” and “Get me a beer!”

• If so cheap, why didn’t Tiger Woods have ten?

• Will used dolls show up on “Craig’s List”?

• What happens when rubber meets rubber?

• Is she cheaper than a promising cheap dinner and a movie date every Saturday night for the next year?

• Will the male version vary in cost in “parts” depending on the nationality?

• Who are creepy guys touching her?

• AND... Is it extra FOR THREESOME?

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where's the EGGO go?

DELIVERING YOU THE NEWS (even if you're not home)

ATLANTA (AP) Kellogg Co. says there will be a nationwide shortage of its popular Eggo frozen waffles until next summer because of interruptions in production at two of the four plants that make them.

The company's Atlanta plant was shut down for an undisclosed period by a September storm that dumped historic amounts of rain in the area. Meanwhile, several production lines at its largest bakery in Rossville, Tenn., are closed indefinitely for repairs, company spokeswoman Kris Charles said in an e-mail.

It will take until the middle of 2010 before shelves around the country are stocked at pre-shutdown levels,
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^^^^--- Hmmm, The DARTBOARD has its suspicions!

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