Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts

Thursday, January 21, 2010

See me, feel me, x-SQUEEZE ME -- puh-lease ladies don't try to do the CROTCH WALK!


NOT A MICHAEL JACKSON STAGE MOVE, “Crotch walking" explains SHOPLIFTING STATISTICS AND TACTICS (a crime prevention website) as a theft tactic that is cleverly performed by women.

They simply wear a full dress or skirt into the store, place an item between their thighs, and walk out of the business like it is any other normal shopping day.

Women with stronger thighs have been known to shoplift larger ticket items like electronics.”

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There is an obvious Oprah Winfrey joke here -- but being afraid of the star of the cover of O MAGAZINE and her lawyers -- THE DARTBOARD will let your own imagination tell it.

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Sunday, November 22, 2009

LADIES FIGHT BACK -- how to combat pick-up lines

Maybe you’ve heard them before or maybe even tried them? In any case -- a good defense is as, maybe better, than a good offence.

Try these answers to some familiar unasked for advances:

Man: Haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: So, wanna go back to my place ?
Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.



Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Woman: It's in the phone book.

Man: But I don't know your name.
Woman: That's in the phone book too.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: What sign were you born under?
Woman: No Parking.

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not Enter

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized !

Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

Man: I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy.
Woman: You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?

Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?