“HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!” -- CALCIUM-RICH ASTRONAUT PEE CLOGS WATER RECYCLING SYSTEM

WHAT A PISS-OFF!

(NEWSER) – The unexpectedly calcium-rich urine of International Space Station astronauts is causing major headaches for NASA engineers. The calcium is clogging the station's $250 million water recycling system and engineers are trying to come up with a fix in time for the Endeavour shuttle's trip to the International Space Station next month, Reuters reports.
The system worked fine when it was tested on earth, say engineers. They believe astronaut's urine may be so high in calcium because of the loss in bone density suffered by people living in zero gravity. "We've learned a lot more about urine than we ever needed or wanted to know," said station flight director David Korth.

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DART THOUGHT that the reason astronauts went for spacewalks was to go.

And

 If they remembered to put the seat down after, would they still have this embarassing situation?

 Do the women astronauts still pee sitting down?

 Who forgot to flush?

 Do the women have separate facilities?

 Do you think you could get out of all this gear in time without leaking?

 Another example that (even in space) drinking and driving don’t mix.

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LUST IN SPACE -- NO WAY

Is getting a piece of ass-tronaut an out-of-this- world possibility? A case of science friction?

Elton John once sang:
“Rocket Man,
oo oooo”.

The same words may soon be spoken by a rocket woman -- when sex finally happens in outer space.

As David Bowie’s Space Oddity warbled:

“Though I’m past one hundred thousand miles
I’m feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much, she knows”


Are we listening to a pre-extra marital affair justification?
One would have to be a little naive if we would think that sex in space would never happen.

An urban legend tells us NASA already conducted sex experiments on a space shuttle mission in 1996.

Remember Moonraker? James "007" Bond (played by Roger Moore) got it “on” with Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles) in the cargo bay of a space shuttle.

Space shuttle flights do provide lots of time and opportunity to do the “deed”. So why not?




Here’s some reasons why it would/should never happen:

* Could be used against you (lawsuit) -- a form of sex in the workplace.

* Good chance you might push the wrong button.

* Heavy breathing depletes your oxygen supply quickly.

* If you like sleeping around – partners are limited. Most crews are all male - can be a good or a bad thing -- depending on your orientation.

* NASA has cameras are everywhere.

* Smoking afterwards is not possible.

* Some countries you are flying over have some sexual positions that are illegal.

* Space suits and helmets are not very sexy.

* Stalled countdowns and misfires are embarrassing.

* Weightlessness would make it difficult for either partner to stay on top.

* When says “take-off” or “re-entry” – easily could be misinterpreted.

And the number one reason that SPACE SEX will never happen is
TWO WORDS: motion sickness.

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