LOHAN-A-THON

OH NO! LILO!!

A sex tape allegedly featuring Lindsay Lohan has allegedly surfaced and is about to made public.

Lindsay is said to be the star of a 47-second (don’t blink) clip, which could be about to appear on the World Wide Web.

The Daily Mirror (newspaper not the piece of glass in the bathroom where you look to check yourself out) reports

“The video film is dynamite. It is pretty seedy and shows Lindsay engaged in a particular sex act, which, obviously, should remain behind closed doors”.

HUSTLER has reportedly already offered almost $200,000 for the footage, which was shot by a waiter.

(Talk about room service).

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At the DARTBOARD, we feel what that magazine is doing is vile and degrading. So much so, we want to stop their evil deed.

To do this, we need your help DARTBOARD READERS. By sending in your dollars we can outbid this dirty-girlie magazine for this celebrity pornography.

Can you think of a better charitable cause?

After acquiring this “sex tape”, we promise to keep it in a safe place and let no one view it (unless they buy a copy for $49.95 plus tax, and a small fee for shipping and handling).

So readers, from your heart, please donate your dollars.

Two digits is good, three better, four digits or more – we will drive fast to your house to pick it up!

DO IT for the cause. (LINDSAY DOES!)

Give till it hurts (LINDSAY DOES THAT TOO!)

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THE DARTBOARD INTERVIEW: DART POKES while LADY PAM -- she SPAMS

DARTBOARD: Welcome Pam. A.

PAMELA ANDERSON: Thank you it’s always great to be on television.

D: Sorry, this isn’t TV.

P.A.: Radio then, I just love talking on the radio. I love Howard Stern.

D: Sorry Ms. Anderson, wrong again. Sorry this isn’t radio.

P.A.: Then what is this? I don’t just not wear a bra for everyone. Well I do but…

D: Sorry to interrupt but, the DARTBOARD is a webpage. People will be reading this like a book.

P.A.: A book?

D: Yes a book, that you read.

P.A.: Ok. I think I was told about them.

D: We’re getting off track -- let’s get to business. What do we owe this interview to? Are you here to talk your d-cups and your coffee shops?

P.A.: I’m always doing that, you see them, you like them, they’re new ones.

D: Yes good job, they look real. So what brings you here to the DARTBOARD.

P.A.: My sports car, a brand new pink Porche convertible. I has it made special for me.

D: Top down?

P.A.: Every chance I get!

D: Right, that’s obvious. Big headlights too, I bet.

P.A.: Huh?

D: What I meant was, are you here to promote something, a new movie? Maybe a Baywatch reunion, a Playboy cover, a new TV series?

P.A.: None of the above.

D: Then I assume you’re here to talk about PETA?

P.A.: You mean People who Eat Tasty Animals. Nope I’m here because I realized, and so did others, that it’s business that I’m built for.

D: No argument there.

P.A.: I’m here to announce the opening of my new massage parlor.

D: But P.A., you must realize that there are many of those already around here.

P.A.: Yes, but mine will be different.

D: How’s that?

P.A.: Mine will be self-serve.

D: Pamela Anderson.

P.A.: Yes?

D: Good bye!

P.A.: Yes, there will be, half-price opening special. Just mention my name. Hope everybody comes.

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LOOK AT MY "QUACK"! -- Could be a most popular FASHION STATEMENT

A "QUACK" -- named after what the ladies will be revealing (and others will be seeing) while wearing this fashionable new mini-mini-mini skirt.

Should be popular for her but more likely for him and even other hers and wannabe hoes.

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