How you can tell your boss (or husband, wife, favorite politician, golf pro, etc.) is a dirty cheating scumbag

* Instead of papers on his desk is a mattress.

* He answers his cellphone in a whisper when you’re close by.

* He advertises for new help on Craig’s List and does interviews by candelight wine and music, after hours.

* He changes his clothes when he leaves for lunch then changes them back when he gets back.

* He knows all the nearby hotels, their room rates, and the name of the maid on the 10th floor.

* His Facebook picture is a body part of his.

* If you ask him if he talks to his wife after sex, he tells you “Yes, if there is a phone nearby.”

* He goes to a convention in Las Vegas on every weekend.

* For office parties he uses blow-up condoms instead of balloons

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The Pros of An Office Romance (with your boss)

 Better chance of a promotion

 Not getting hassled about long breaks, long lunches or lateness

 Getting the best gift at Christmas

 Gives you something to twitter about

 Somebody to get naughty with on the photocopy machine

 Unlimited pens, paper, and other office supplies to take home without questioning where they went

 Being the first to get any new equipment

 Good practice in acting when talking to their spouse

 Don’t have to know any office skills

 Business trips with expenses included

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