With all the star searching for the next idols, the reality is there is no new porn idol we know of. FACE IT! You are probably asking yourself and wondering why you have been ignored so long – “why can’t I be the one to be the next big new porn star”.
So you think you're ready?
Have you've got what it takes?
Whether you're a he or a she, a she-he or a he-she -- you know you've thought about it!
You may have even privately practiced a few in-out/out-in moves at home with your videocam (maybe even with a partner).
NOW, before you pack up, and move into a damp motel room, and get famous, take a few minutes and see how you rate as an "adult" film star.
ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS WITH AN "X" (obviously!)
1/ Before entering an adult video store, I always:
(a) Put on a disguise, look both ways to & check if anyone saw me arrive.
(b) Put on a pair of surgical gloves, mask, and a condom.
(c) Check myself out in the mirror to see how cool I look in sunglasses.
2/ If the clerk says "can I help you" I always respond :
(a) "do I look like a pervert?"
(b) "I'm here for a friend"
(c) "don't you have anything stronger than this!"
3/ My favorite time for sex is :
(a) After a good healthy meal
(b) During a good healthy meal
(c) Instead of a good healthy meal
4/ Regarding having dirty steamy sex, it usually takes me at least 30 minutes to :
(a) Get enough courage to buy a condom.
(b) Find a partner
(c) Remember who I am with
5/ After an embarrassing sexual session, I usually :
(a) Call my mother and then to Jerry Springer
(b) Blame it on my religion
(c) Deny! Deny! Deny!
6/ Complete the sentence; "wham, bam, thank you,_________ .
(a) Good night!"
(b) How much?"
(c) You're welcome!"
7/ My favorite sexual position is :
(a) Alone.
(b) Very difficult for me to spell & pronounce.
(c) Illegal in 7 european countries and three provinces.
8/ To me, "group sex" means :
(a) Sex involving all the members of Aerosmith or the Pussycat Dolls.
(b) Somebody misspelled "grope".
(c) Bringing a "HI I'M" name tag.
9/ When I hear someone say they have "12 inches", I think :
(a) WOW! What a bad snowfall.
(b) what the metric equivalent would be.
(c) Is that all?
10/ In a sex shoppe, you'll find me :
(a) In the "8 items or less" line,
(b) Working there.
(c) Buying some extra long-lasting rechargeable batteries.
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Evaluation:
for every (a) answer
give yourself 10 points.
for every (b) answer
give yourself 100 points.
for every (c) answer
give yourself 1000 points.
* * *
What does your score mean:
UNDER 100 POINTS:
Go back to school and take a math course.
BETWEEN 100 AND 10,000 POINTS:
Wash your hands, brush your teeth, and get dressed!
Don't just sit there! You should be running out the door to get your name changed to DICK L'ARGE or LOTTA AKSHUN !!!!
It's time to start thinking what people will say when they see you perform and dream about being naughty with you. YES -- the next time you hear the word "Action", you will be the star on a film set, with naked people, and that's exactly what you will be getting (some "ACTION").
OVER 10,000 POINTS:
Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!
