Psychic kiki tells ALL!

Other psychics are always trying to bust her balls. Why? Because Psychickiki (as her name suggests) has something extra they don’t have. An extra ball. Having these two (crystal) balls, let her see what those others can’t and she’s not afraid to expose these here:

o A nightclub will open up that’s so exclusive it will have no members.

o A terrorist lumberjack will try to chop down the Washington Monument.

o An upcoming major outbreak of the rockin’ pneumonia and the boogie woogie flu will rock Memphis.

o Andy Dick will change his name to Andy Penis.

o Archeologists will discover the Statue of Liberty is in fact a crossdresser.

o Castro Oil will be found in Cuba.

o Chia salads will be the next health food trend.

o Cookie monster will bake in the California sun.

o Driving while chewing gum will be outlawed.

o Elton John will sell portable toilets named after him.

o Hugh Hefner will admit he’s gay and he loves dressing as a bunny.

o Jay Leno will be caught lip-syncing his monologue.

o Mister Bubble will be found drowned in a bathtub. CSI will investigate.

o Pamela Anderson will tell all who listen she enjoys the breast stroke.

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PSYCHICKIKI >> the only PSYCHIC with two (count 'em) balls!!

She’s been staring at them for the past few hours. What is about the future that her balls tell her that she wants to share with us now, only Kiki knows and Kiki will tell us now:

o Wonder Woman will return. This time much more sexier – not weaing her Wonderbra.

o Boy George will finally go through puberty causing his voice to change and name to Man George.

o Starbucks will open a location on the moon.

o Because of global warming Eskimos will be buying swimming pools.

o Pamela Anderson will soon be busted (sorry ignore this, she is already).

o 7 Up will finally reveal what 6 Up and what the problrm with the other Ups were.

o Lady Gaga will marry herself.

o Smoking grass skirts will become legal in Hawaii.

o Bingo will be outlawed in Las Vegas.

o The Eiffel Tower will be tilted so that Parisians (without cable) can get more TV stations.

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THE LADY WITH THE BALLS >> PSYCHICKIKI

Here she comes again! Holding her balls in her right hand and screaming out the words that we want to hear. She has a sick sense, has ESPN, and single-handedly put the ass back into ass-trology.

Psychic Kiki what do your balls tell us this time?




o A UFO will land atop a WALMART store and breed with the employees. The resulting children will be labeled Walmartans.

o Disneyland will introduce Frosty the Snowman as its newest member. Sadly, after a hot day, he will become Frosty the Puddle.

o Baskin-Robbins will break up.

o The Vatican will open a snack bar. Treats will include Pope-sicles and Pope Tarts.

o The next world-wide epidemic will be Star Wars Flu, later to be R2D2.

o Soduko will be outlawed in some southern states.

o Chinese restaurants will be forced to hire Blacks.

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THE LADY WITH THE BALLS -- psychickiki

Probaby as we speak, she is gazing at them, touching them, and getting excited at the feelings comind over her. To have the two of them is very rare. As far as we know, she's the only lady to admit to be so possessed.

Before she went into her current mental state, she left these predictions to share with us and the rest of the universe:

 MADONNA will adopt a pair of Siamese Twins so she can breast-feed both at the same time.
 PETA will boycott Christmas claiming the red-nosed reindeer are an endangered species.
 THE MAN FROM GLAD will come out (of the broom closet).
 NASA will announce construction of a bridge to the moon in order to save money on rockets and rocket fuel.
 MICROSOFT will announce a new add-on for Windows – Curtains.
 Due to financial difficulties STARBUCKS with change its name to STARQUARTERS.
 HOCKEY and FOOTBALL PLAYERS will go on strike demanding they be paid time and a half for working overtime, and double time for working Sundays and holidays.
 Scientist will discover finding no life on Mars but lots of life in New Orleans during MARDI GRAS.

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Her name says it all – psyCHICKiki.

Do we need to say more?

She’s a predictor of all – people, place and things (even tomorrow’s weather).

Unlike others, she has two balls (big ones). Her best friends testify that what this “chick” is in fact certifiably “mental”. She shyly brags she has ESPN.

Her predictions are so accurate that not even an old hag at sideshow carnival booth (that yoo've paid ten bucks) would have a hard time matching. Only Al Roeker can claim to do better.

Don’t sit back (or stand up) and don’t say we didn’t advise (alert, caution, warn) you – here is what PSYCHICKIKI says (tells us) about the future!

Tomorrow’s headlines today!

• Lance Armstrong will get a bike for Christmas.

• Someone will tell Victoria’s secret.

• Donald Trump will give donate extra hair to Doctor Phil.

• Jack and Jill will be banned from ski resorts.

• Paris Hilton will have a hotel named after her. The SILLY BITCH INN will have not require reservations.

• Katie Perry will write a kiss and tell book.

• A woman will walk on the moon and leave high heel impressions that will last for millions of years.

• Britney Spears will market her own line of invisible underwear.

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