if Dr.Seus was alive today...

There once was a pro golfer named Woods,
Whose winnings would deliver the goods.

With Elin, a wife so sweet,
In a bikini, such a treat.

So when the player got caught
You prayed him it was not.

But she did catch him on her cheating,
So she gave him and the car such a beating

Caught with his pants down,
Made him everybody’s clown.

Playing with some mistresses,
Gave him much distresses.

And maybe some various diseases
From too, too, many bimbo teases.

Now no longer will we call him a type of cat,
But more likely, a sleazy, cheesy, dirty rat.

* * *

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ya ya ya TIGER sings BEATLES

 “I'll buy you a diamond ring my friend,
If it makes you feel alright,
I'll get you anything my friend,
If it makes you feel alright,
'Cause I don't care too much for money,
Money can't buy me love.”


 “I told that girl that my prospects were good,
She said, baby it's understood,
Working for peanuts is all very fine,
But I can show you a better time.
Baby, you can drive my car, yes I'm gonna be a star”


 “The long and winding road that leads to your door,
Will never disappear, I've seen that road before”


 “You keep all your money in a big brown bag inside the zoo
What a thing to do
Baby you're a rich man
Baby you're a rich man
Baby you're a rich man too”


 “The world is treating me bad, misery.
I'm the kind of guy who never used to cry.
The world is treating me bad, misery.
I've lost her now for sure,
I won't see her no more,
It's gonna be a drag misery”


 “Woke up, fell out of bed,
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup,
And looking up I noticed I was late”

 “Come on take it easy.
Take it easy take it easy.
Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey”


 “Why don't we do it in the road?
No one will be watching us.
Why don't we do it in the road?”

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REASONS Tiger Woods cheated on his wife

> Argued why would it be too much for her to go to City Hall to get her name spelt properly to Ellen.

> He preferred four-somes with the boys than three-somes with girls.

> She sold their White House dinner invitations to another couple.

> She didn't let him putt in the hallway.

> She kept calling their son "boy".

> Obviously he's gay or blind.

> She forced him to see TWILIGHT and NEW MOON more than once.




> Figured the only way he could meet Judge Judy was in court.

> It would give him more time for driving lessons -- realizing a car is more complicated than a golf cart.

> It's easier to count money when your alone.

> Could now stay up to watch JAY LENO at ten.

> A fortune cookie told him Confucius said he should.

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