Sunday, January 10, 2010
PSYCHICKIKI >> the only PSYCHIC with two (count 'em) balls!!
She’s been staring at them for the past few hours. What is about the future that her balls tell her that she wants to share with us now, only Kiki knows and Kiki will tell us now:
o Wonder Woman will return. This time much more sexier – not weaing her Wonderbra.
o Boy George will finally go through puberty causing his voice to change and name to Man George.
o Starbucks will open a location on the moon.
o Because of global warming Eskimos will be buying swimming pools.
o Pamela Anderson will soon be busted (sorry ignore this, she is already).
o 7 Up will finally reveal what 6 Up and what the problrm with the other Ups were.
o Lady Gaga will marry herself.
o Smoking grass skirts will become legal in Hawaii.
o Bingo will be outlawed in Las Vegas.
o The Eiffel Tower will be tilted so that Parisians (without cable) can get more TV stations.
* * *
Thursday, January 7, 2010
WHEN YOUR ROOMMATE HAS GOT TO GO
He/she uses your cat as a mop.
He/she ask you to tie his/her shoes for them.
He/she is always reminding you that his/her birthday is coming.
He/she keeps inviting his/her parents over for weekend sleepovers.
He/she uses the microwave to dry their underwear and sox.
He/she starts every conversation with “it’s your turn to”.
He/she brings PETA members over to see your new leather couch.
He/she reads to you out loud to you in Chinese.
He/she counts bread slices before breakfast.
He/she pays his/her half of the rent in pennies.
MEN! You know you’ve you been single too long, when
....you find an old packet of condoms and you have great fun making balloons out of them.
...when your right hand tells you to try the left because it is tired.
...you're best friend is a warm sheet.
...when you pick up the phone to call a woman and the only woman you know is your mom.
...when your friends introduce you as the "he’s single -- might be gay".
…when you know everything variety of SWANSON’S.
…your dad invites you to come downstairs and watch THE FAMILY GUY with him.
...you sniff your underwear to check whether if they are clean.
...you then turn them inside out and wear them again.
...you then realize you did the same thing the day before.
...the last woman that saw you in her underwear was your mother.
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