They continue telling us that many of these underground processing areas are set up in tool sheds and garages, where spider's eggs, animal and even human feces can mix with the finished product.
(Ewwww! We didn't know that -- we give up!)
* * *
Showing posts with label celebrity news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label celebrity news. Show all posts
Friday, March 26, 2010
ASSES TO ASHES
In CANADA, the National Coalition Against Contraband Tobacco tell us (as if we didn't know) illegal cigarettes are not just sold illegally, but are manufactured that way, too.
They continue telling us that many of these underground processing areas are set up in tool sheds and garages, where spider's eggs, animal and even human feces can mix with the finished product.
(Ewwww! We didn't know that -- we give up!)
* * *
They continue telling us that many of these underground processing areas are set up in tool sheds and garages, where spider's eggs, animal and even human feces can mix with the finished product.
(Ewwww! We didn't know that -- we give up!)
* * *
SEND HELP! SHE'S ga-ga ING!!
Confessing to U.K.'s Daily Mirror she's sworn off good lovin' for her whole tour.
"I'm single," said Gaga, 23. "I haven't got time to spend on the road to get to know anyone. Even Lady GaGa can be celibate, you don't have to have sex to be loved."
+ + +
BY THE WAY - She's the one on the left.
GENTLEMEN - Would you do her?
* * *
"I'm single," said Gaga, 23. "I haven't got time to spend on the road to get to know anyone. Even Lady GaGa can be celibate, you don't have to have sex to be loved."
+ + +
BY THE WAY - She's the one on the left.
GENTLEMEN - Would you do her?
* * *
Saturday, March 20, 2010
BBC NEWS REPORTS:
The trusted news source says:
MAN ASSAULTED OFFICER WITH PENIS
A man who assaulted a female police officer with his penis has been fined.
Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.
Lithuanian Varinauskas admitted a charge of assault at Aberdeen Sheriff Court and was fined £600.
The court heard he had been drinking heavily and could not remember committing the offence at his home in Aberdeen.
Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk last November.
They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.
“ He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed ”
John Hardie Defence solicitor.
Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."
Defence solicitor John Hardie said: "He was sitting on the couch drunk with his pants on.
"He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened.
"He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed."
His not guilty plea to committing a breach of the peace by uttering offensive and sexual remarks was accepted by the Crown.
Sheriff Annella Cowan was told that the Lithuanian had now quit binge drinking because of the incident.
- - -
The Dartboard says:
"What a dick!"
"Will this hold up in court?"
"Lucky it wasn't a stick-up"
"Do the police have hard evidence?"
"The guy must have had balls."
p.s. check out the name of the Defence solicitor -- > John Hardie
* * *
MAN ASSAULTED OFFICER WITH PENIS
A man who assaulted a female police officer with his penis has been fined.
Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.
Lithuanian Varinauskas admitted a charge of assault at Aberdeen Sheriff Court and was fined £600.
The court heard he had been drinking heavily and could not remember committing the offence at his home in Aberdeen.
Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk last November.
They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.
“ He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed ”
John Hardie Defence solicitor.
Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."
Defence solicitor John Hardie said: "He was sitting on the couch drunk with his pants on.
"He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened.
"He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed."
His not guilty plea to committing a breach of the peace by uttering offensive and sexual remarks was accepted by the Crown.
Sheriff Annella Cowan was told that the Lithuanian had now quit binge drinking because of the incident.
- - -
The Dartboard says:
"What a dick!"
"Will this hold up in court?"
"Lucky it wasn't a stick-up"
"Do the police have hard evidence?"
"The guy must have had balls."
p.s. check out the name of the Defence solicitor -- > John Hardie
* * *
Monday, March 8, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
CELEB SAID -- DART SAID
THE DARTBOARD CALL THEM AS WE THEM -- WHEN "SHUT-UP" IS NOT ENOUGH
“I’ve been waiting so long to hug my grandchildren.”
Jon Voight
DART SAYS: Careful no inappropriate touching grandpa! It’s illegal in some states.
“I cultivated a real relationship with him the last 2 years of his life. It was the coolest thing. I would have tea with him- sometimes once a week, sometimes twice a week.”
Paula Abdul (about Simon Cowell)
DART SAYS: And some people cultivate wheat, corn, or rice.
“I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems.”
Elton John
DART SAYS: Is that what BENNY AND THE JETS was all about?
"I am thrilled to be on this show and to be part of a program that educates teens and young adults about the consequences of teen pregnancy,"
Bristol Palin
DART SAYS: And could she teach us about hunting polar bears and snow-shoeing in next 25 minutes?
"Mind-altering substances are so dangerous. If I can teach others, especially teens, by sharing my experiences, then that's what I will continue to do."
Lindsay Lohan
DART SAYS: Why not open a school with Bristol?
“Sometimes I find my head spinning. Not because of alcohol, but because of my life.”
Lady Gaga
DART SAYS: we think it’s more likely those stupid hats you wear pressing down on your skull.
“I broke no regulation, offered no 'safety risk' (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?) I saw someone bigger than me on THAT flight.”
Kevin Smith
DART SAYS: Isn’t that the underwear bomber’s defence?
“I don't think I've ever liked having sex with someone more than two years!”
Jenny McCarthy
DART SAYS: WOW! Congrats! For some people more than 20 minutes with eyes closed is a major accomplishment.”
“Some people eat, some people drink -- but I Pledge everything.”
Johnny Weir (figure skater)
DART SAYS: Something tells us he’s not talking about polishing furniture, buy maybe he is.
“I really hate vaginas. I'm allergic to vaginas.”
Robert Pattinson
DART SAYS: Smart guy, you’ll save lots of cash on condoms and mouthwash.
“No one believes me when I talk about this, but I'm really, really maternal.”
Megan Fox
DART SAYS: Make us believers – show us the breast-feeding pics.
“I didn't get them as big as I originally wanted.”
Heidi Montag
DART SAYS: BRAINS – right?
“Look, if I have to wear a trash bag I'll belt it with rhinestones and I'll make it work.”
Sandra Bullock
DART SAYS: It works for Amy Winehouse, right?
“I’ve been waiting so long to hug my grandchildren.”
Jon Voight
DART SAYS: Careful no inappropriate touching grandpa! It’s illegal in some states.
“I cultivated a real relationship with him the last 2 years of his life. It was the coolest thing. I would have tea with him- sometimes once a week, sometimes twice a week.”
Paula Abdul (about Simon Cowell)
DART SAYS: And some people cultivate wheat, corn, or rice.
“I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems.”
Elton John
DART SAYS: Is that what BENNY AND THE JETS was all about?
"I am thrilled to be on this show and to be part of a program that educates teens and young adults about the consequences of teen pregnancy,"
Bristol Palin
DART SAYS: And could she teach us about hunting polar bears and snow-shoeing in next 25 minutes?
"Mind-altering substances are so dangerous. If I can teach others, especially teens, by sharing my experiences, then that's what I will continue to do."
Lindsay Lohan
DART SAYS: Why not open a school with Bristol?
“Sometimes I find my head spinning. Not because of alcohol, but because of my life.”
Lady Gaga
DART SAYS: we think it’s more likely those stupid hats you wear pressing down on your skull.
“I broke no regulation, offered no 'safety risk' (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?) I saw someone bigger than me on THAT flight.”
Kevin Smith
DART SAYS: Isn’t that the underwear bomber’s defence?
“I don't think I've ever liked having sex with someone more than two years!”
Jenny McCarthy
DART SAYS: WOW! Congrats! For some people more than 20 minutes with eyes closed is a major accomplishment.”
“Some people eat, some people drink -- but I Pledge everything.”
Johnny Weir (figure skater)
DART SAYS: Something tells us he’s not talking about polishing furniture, buy maybe he is.
“I really hate vaginas. I'm allergic to vaginas.”
Robert Pattinson
DART SAYS: Smart guy, you’ll save lots of cash on condoms and mouthwash.
“No one believes me when I talk about this, but I'm really, really maternal.”
Megan Fox
DART SAYS: Make us believers – show us the breast-feeding pics.
“I didn't get them as big as I originally wanted.”
Heidi Montag
DART SAYS: BRAINS – right?
“Look, if I have to wear a trash bag I'll belt it with rhinestones and I'll make it work.”
Sandra Bullock
DART SAYS: It works for Amy Winehouse, right?
Sunday, January 17, 2010
LOHAN-A-THON
OH NO! LILO!!
A sex tape allegedly featuring Lindsay Lohan has allegedly surfaced and is about to made public.
Lindsay is said to be the star of a 47-second (don’t blink) clip, which could be about to appear on the World Wide Web.
The Daily Mirror (newspaper not the piece of glass in the bathroom where you look to check yourself out) reports
“The video film is dynamite. It is pretty seedy and shows Lindsay engaged in a particular sex act, which, obviously, should remain behind closed doors”.
HUSTLER has reportedly already offered almost $200,000 for the footage, which was shot by a waiter.
(Talk about room service).
+ + +
At the DARTBOARD, we feel what that magazine is doing is vile and degrading. So much so, we want to stop their evil deed.
To do this, we need your help DARTBOARD READERS. By sending in your dollars we can outbid this dirty-girlie magazine for this celebrity pornography.
Can you think of a better charitable cause?
After acquiring this “sex tape”, we promise to keep it in a safe place and let no one view it (unless they buy a copy for $49.95 plus tax, and a small fee for shipping and handling).
So readers, from your heart, please donate your dollars.
Two digits is good, three better, four digits or more – we will drive fast to your house to pick it up!
DO IT for the cause. (LINDSAY DOES!)
Give till it hurts (LINDSAY DOES THAT TOO!)
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