"ASK me no questions & I'll tell you no lies!"

If we believe everything we see in the movies (especially documentary ones), Madonna has a secret son who’s older than her last boyfriend. Madge supposedly gave birth in to the tot in 1973 -- at the age of 15.

The trailer for the movie appropriately called MATERIAL BOY calls the revelation

“the best ever kept secret in the history of pop music”.

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What’s next?

“Michael Jackson was gay”.

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DART did some research and found out some clues to why this MADONNA rumor may in fact be true and some facts about her abandoned boy-child.

 Madonna did have an early hit single with “Like A Virgin”.

 The son has the initials J.C. and his father’s name was Joe.

 He has 12 friends that follow him around and with whom he dines with regularly on fridays.

 J.C.'s favorite piece of clothing is his toga.

 His favorite shoes are sandals.

 He is very polite always saying “Bless you”.

 The Beatles (who we trust not to lie) wrote “Lady Madonna, children at your feet” before she had any legitimate ones.

 There is no birth date on his driver’s license and he gets double gifts for Christmas.


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meanwhile back in merry old...

The Brits are reading in their morning paper THE SUN that MADONNA has been named as the most written about celebrity of the past decade in Britain. Researchers found Madge, 51, was featured in 45,633 national newspaper articles.
Why? Here’s why THE DARTBOARD thinks this is so.

 Can easily beat Britney Spears in a wrestling match.
 Favorite food is fish & chips.
 Her name rhymes with prima donna.
 More likely to pose nude than Susan Boyle.
 She has good teeth.
 She learned to speak with an English accent.
 She lives there now.
 She married and divorced an Englishman.
 She’s prettier than the Queen.
 Takes up less space and ink in publications because no mentioning of her last name is necessary.

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MADONNA, rumours abound that you now have started wearing panties -- THE DARTBOARD wants to know why is that?

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Heavenly Toast

JUST IN TIME for the holidays -- your chance

to wake up with the original Madonna. You will gladly jump out of bed early to her on your holy-days and every day after that. Your prayers will be finally be answered and it will only cost you around five bucks* -- that's less what you drop in two weeks in your church collection plate.

A great investment.

Just think of the $$$ you can charge lost souls and pilgrims to see and touch your breakfast creations. God may work in wondrous ways but now it's your turn to break bread and work it.

AMEN!

* bread and toaster not included

WARNING: burnt toast can mean you're toast!!

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